Of late, i've been feeling a little short in my parenting. I couldn't quite point a finger to it until i read How to be a Hero to Your Kids. It's a christian parenting book but i think the principles are so logical that even non-christians can benefit from it.
But the point where the book spoke right to me was when the author shared how he would act on an instance whenever his children do wrong. He feels the need to immediately correct their behavior and not wait. But when the kids do something right, he would make a mental note to praise them later- eventually he may not do. Then it occured to him that the message he's been sending to his kids- the way to get his immediate attention is to do something wrong. He suggest the right way is to give more heed to right behaviour then wrong.
My husband was very quick to tell me 'I HOPE THIS SPEAKS TO YOU!'. Whoops. I think i've been paying more attention at every little thing that the boy does wrong but fail to give the same amount of attention when he does right. I've been rather harsh on the boy, expecting nothing short of perfect behavior from him. But, it may backfire on me, he's a kid after all.
Hence, i've been consciously praising the kid when he does right. Thanking him for the small things he does, like waiting patiently for us when we busy ourselves with babydoll, obeying our instructions etc. The beam on his face is simply priceless. Of course, i am not there yet, i still fall short. But, it's quite a knock on my head, still is. It's a great lesson learnt. Hope you're doing better than me in this department!