Thursday, September 29, 2011

The sucess story of a Stay home mama

I've a few friends who quit their SAHM stint within months. Some ended feeling like a failure, some had developed deep dislike for the job and even call it a 'lonely and long suffering' journey. Most felt like they have no life staying home and pitied themselves.

Strangely, I feel quite the opposite. Ive never been happier & fulfilled. I think this is the best decision I've made in my life. On the contrary, I will feel like I've no life if I've to work and take care of kids. Nothing is more depressing than to spend the bulk of my time with people I don't care and the least amount of time with the people I love most. I literally feel like the richest woman in the world just by staying home with my kids.

I get asked alot- how do i do it? I seriously can't point a finger to it. But I guess to be a successful SAHM, you need a number of favorable factors. Here's what I think helped my journey to be easy.

1) Personality- if you're the sort who needs to go out there and party, live the high life then this SAHM business is not for you. If you need daily excitement and thrill, this life ain't for you either. SAHM life is the very opposite. Life is predictable, mundane and yes, can get alittle repetitive.

However, instead of feeling bored and pathetic, i actually thrive in such lifestyles. I tend to feel in control this way. I know what is coming up and I know exactly what I'm gonna to do about it. Because everyday is predictable, I know when I get my me time, I know when I should start preparing the meals, I know if I've the time for meet up with friends. I know my kids temper well enough to anticipate when they will get upset so I know exactly how to react. I am in control.

2) Your kids personality. I got to admit. Ive got easy kids. Well, one at least. I don't know about the girl yet, but she's pretty alright for now. N is constantly happy, easy going and flexible which makes him really easy to manage. And yes, he is not one that will throw a tantrum, no not even once a month. I guess, the primary reason why i enjoy SAHM life is because of his happy-go-lucky nature. As for the girl, she's such a sweetheart. Like her brother, she is generous with her smiles. She's generally a happy girl but it may be too early to tell. But whatever it is, right now, i don't feel like i've a chaotic household, i don't feel like i am running up and down, back & forth like a mad woman. It's actually quite peaceful at home. Either that or i am living in another world.

3) Routine. In my house, we have a set routine. Each morning, when N wakes up, he knows what he should do all the way till the end of the day etc. He knows exactly what he's suppose to do for each day. I suppose that is why i don't encounter much power struggles at home. That said, my days aren't that boring as it sounds.We do, do things differently just to spice things up like a visit to library, shopping malls, parks etc. And if i decide to do something differently for a day, the boy wouldn't get upset either.

4) Marry the right man. I am proud to say, i married the right dude. My man is a hands on father and husband. Actually, he's more hands on than me & does the housework way more thorough & cleaner than me. He helps out with the housework and kids. Since N was an infant, it is he who has been bathing the kid till even today. In the day, I'd fill the sink with a pile of dirty dishes and he'd come home & faithfully empty the sink without a groan. He wouldn't negotiate if i ask him to hang up the laundry. I am also thankful that he has not set high demands on his housewife. He doesn't come home and complain about the mess or dirt. Neither does he come home and whine  about his day at work. He always return home with a wide grin on his face, just happy to reunite with his family. It also helps that he's always calm and is able to keep his emotions in tact (unlike me) so i only have to deal with cranky kids in any given day. But i can't say the same for him! :P  Did i marry the perfect man? You betcha! :)

So my fellow SAHM friends, what are the factors that help YOU succeed?


  1. Yup, agreed from the bottom of my heart! Having the right kids and understanding husband is the major factor for successful SAHM!^^

  2. Marry the right man! I could not do it without hb, he knows when I need some alone time and will take the kids off my hands. I always say we work like a well oiled machine.
    Routine is very important for our family as well, the kids thrive on knowing whats going to happen next..etc
    My children are polar opposites, but I think that's what makes them such good pals to each other. Yes they are loud and at times simply crazy but they really are such good playmates that it allows me to do other things.
    We also limit the number of activities that each child does, this way I don't feel like I'm always driving them around for classes.
    Lastly, have a good sense of humor. When one child has peed on the floor and the other has gone and slipped in it, you can either scream or laugh. Screaming gets you nowhere but laughter makes everyone feel better!

  3. Agree!!!!! I need your email address!!! You let me a comment and I need to write you back!!! please send it to!! PLEASE!! HUGS MY FRIEND!!

  4. Alice: sounds like someone married the 'perfect' hub too!

    2monkeys (going on to 3): sense of humour! Of course! that's a good one!

    karen: Sent you a mail- did you get it?

  5. Hey! I must say, I agree on ALL FOUR! :) Its not just about the SAHM herself, but about how her kids are, and how hubby is and how the family is run. Glad that everything works out! :)

  6. nop! can you send it again>?????

  7. Karen: sent again! And left you a message on your blog :)

  8. What a lovely post. The reason y i'm a Sahm is because I love my son v much for he is the dream I almost never had.

  9. Just me- I know. Your story makes me appreciate my kids more. You make me feel very blessed and see my kids in a different perspective. We take too many things in life for granted huh? And you! Are more blessed than lots of women out there because of your kid :) cheers!!


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