Friday, February 11, 2011

CHinese Parenting

No, this is not yet one of those blog about 'tiger mums'. On the contrary, its my lamentation about how poor chinese parenting can be sometimes.

I am not one who believes blindly, i need proof, i need the theory to be backed by grounded research. Hence, i find it awfully difficult to accept alot of the old wives tales which unfortunately, lands me into the 'rebellious, disobedient' books in the eyes of my elders.

For a start, I simply cannot understand the chinese confinement rules. Things like new mothers cannot wash hair, drink water, must wear socks, no aircon, all windows must be shut etc. I find them all absurd and against my logical thinking. I mean no washing hair? The most extreme i heard was no bathing! I like what my Gynae said, the objective of the confinement period is to make the mother rest & feel comfortable- no bathing is definately causing more stress than help.

Let me tell you how all these rules came about- i learnt this during my pre natal class during my first pregnancy. We all know that these rules came from our ancestors in China. Apparantly, in those days, the weather can be very extreme & cold. These rules were implemented to keep the mothers warm. Somehow these rules became warp as each generation pass it down to the next.

I watched on the television how other cultures (American) deal with their confinement- NOTHING SPECIAL! If anything, there's a welcome party at home for the mum & new baby when she arrives from the hospital. Guess what? They eat normal food like PIZZA, PASTA etc- nothing of our sort! So, if they can survive with none of our confinement nonsense, why not us?

My take is that the Chinese all way too superstitious and (forgive my language) suckers for old wives tales. We need to loosen up, analyse the rational behind each belief, throw out the extremely warp ones and keep only the logical ones. As for me and my house, we're going to stop this nonsense- i refuse to pass down anymore lies to my next generation!


  1. Hi mommy, I used to pissed off by those old wife tales too! During my confinement with my elder girl, I actually bathed every day for the 1st 3 days and wash my hair too... I wasn't sure what has gone wrong, but the 4th day I was hit by a 'stroke'(Chinese call it Yuet Fung/ Confinement wind), my whole body swollen and I wasn't able to talk or wake up for 2 whole days(It was nightmare)! To date, I'll enduring unreasonably body aching... phew!

    After the anecdote, I make an assumption that due to the climate and cultural differences, we really have to look into certain taboos... some old wife tales although sound absurd but I'm sure it has its reason behind!;D

  2. eeek Really?! You're the first i know who kena! REALLY? Sounds scary. But i also bathed everyday after my first delivery, didn't skip a day & nothing happened.How come the ang mohs can bathe? Did you check with the Gynae why it happened?

  3. i bathed everyday after i gave birth. i can't stand it without a bath, knowing that my hoo-ha stinks ..i'm funny that way. ha! :)

  4. Hmmm, I guess we can take those "customs" with a pinch of salt. Like you said many were implemented because of the cold weather last time... I know some of my friends still do follow some of the practices as they feel it helps in recovery... For myself, my mum did my confinement and I started bathing from the 2nd day, all she was particular about was that I didn't "catch cold" and insisted I blow-dry my hair with a hair dryer and avoided using a fan. Intially I thought the fan thing was bollocks but some days I would suddenly feel chills when using the fan, so perhaps there was some sense in it even though it seemed not logical! I guess we just use whatever customs that helps us, after all recovery isn't easy!

  5. My O&G Prof Hashim diagnosed me as post partum depression!=_="" Guess I'm the least lucky one, muahahaha!

    I wish I can have an Ang Moh's friend and interrogate them in details, I have no idea(so far)!

  6. I never did confinement for both my kids. Bathed everyday and ate whatever I craved. As for the chills, yes I did have them but my doctor very sensibly explained that the body has just been through a lot, it is obviously weak hence the chills. His advice was to rest and eat sensibly, simple advice which I felt made so much sense.


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