Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Other moms deal with tantrums, mischief while ive none of those, I've another set of behaviourial issues to tackle with. There are some things that the boy does that really annoys me to no end. It sets me on fiery mood and no matter how hard I try he just won't (or can't) stop. I've tried talking, scolding, yelling, beating and even caning but he'd just repeat them again. Here's what irritates me

1) He loves to touch me at the joints of my arms. That's alright you say. Not if he does it every other minute. What's more, in his excitement, he's touch would turn into grabbing, scratching and mostly pinching. That's what annoys me most. I can't seem to get him to stop no matter how I scream, cane or reason. I have even resorted to pinching him ( ya I'm that desperate) to show him it doesn't feel nice. He gets it and understood each time that he's not suppose to do it. But he can't seem to control himself especially when he's excited. It seems that I have to yell at him like a complete nutcase before he knows the seriousness of it. PoST note: And i realised he is doing it quite unconsciously, that's probably why he tends to 'forget' that he's not suppose to do it. It's tough to 'discipline' him because as i said he does it subconsciously and so quickly that he tend to not realise what he actually did. Likewise, because he does it in a flash, sometimes even i am not sure if it was a scratch, pinch, grab or just a simple touch that accidentally became a scratch. Hence, at times, i probably wrongfully yell at him. ;I

2) He thinks its funny to speak unclearly. He tends to cut out the ending sounds of some words. For instance, yes become ye, train becomes trai. It started out as a joke but it gCodigjggjot too far. I worry that he'd speak this way in school, if so, no one would ever understand what's he saying. I find it really annoying especially when he knows how to pronounce properly but too lazy to do it.

3) When nursing the girl, he'd sit beside me doing his own thing be it reading or playing his toys. At times he'd just lie down or roll on the sofa. It gets to me that each time he'd jump on me, knock me or even kick the girl's head. Some days he would poke me with his toes which can be quite painful & irritating. Other times he would run his fingers up & down my arms. It can get quite ticklish and annoying especially when I'm trying to manage an infant in my arms.

4) This is probably typical of most kids but still! He has a habit of picking something up from point A and randomly leaving it at point B. He needs constant reminder to put the things back. Its probably ok if I have time to watch him but I don't. By the time I discover it, its too late. I can't nit the problem in the butt!


Well well, the son actually published my unfinished post, which is ironically about him, without my knowledge! I was going to add that these behaviour began way before sister was born, though i can't remember if it was before or during my pregnancy.

5) He has a new habit which probably is a spin off from pt 1. He likes to dig his chin right into my skin be it on my arms or legs...whichever part of my body he can manage. I hate it because it's, you guess it, irritating!

I have pretty much concluded this about his actions. I think it's HIS 'special' way of showing affection. Weird right? I think so too. While other kids probably run to their mamas to give them a hug, kiss etc, he comes to me doing all of these. The only time he'd sit still and hug me tightly is when he is upset or hurt. Other times, it's really difficult to get his affectionate way, that is. I am trying to see it from his point of view, but i think he needs to learn the proper way of showing affection. .

I am probably the only bad mother who complains about her son's strange antics. But hey, im a woman, i need to let out, i need to rant. :I Peace.


  1. Sounds like you're having such a hard time! Sorry to hear that. It can be so hard when things aren't going the way you would prefer, and even worse, when they seem *stuck* that way.

    From an outside (and "professional") perspective, I'd say it sounds like your boy is missing having you to himself. He keeps doing things, even things you really don't like, just so that he can get direct, focused, exclusive interaction with you.

    If it were me, I'd keep talking to him about the various issues (and trying to find a calm way to do it), AND see if you can give him some personal time with just the two of you -- even if it's just little bits here and there. That way he has the opportunity to have you to himself without having to do something you don't like first.

    Hope things smooth out for you! Be well.

  2. Hi! Thanks for the insight! Would you believe my son published this post? It's actually an unfinished post! I've some more points to add! I was going to say it's not he's way of getting my attention because he's been doing this way before the baby was out. It's just that now I've so much on my plate, I've become less tolerant of his behaviour. Plus he's accepting his sister well, no signs of jealousy...yet.

  3. Glad to hear that your son shows no signs of being jealous of the little sister. That is truly great! And a blessing for you all.

    You say he was acting in this manner "way before the baby was out" but was it more so *after* you got pregnant? The reason I ask is because the older sibling often begins this sort of more intense activity ahead of the birth, but still after the perception of mom being less available. It may have nothing to do with the sister, and still everything to do with needing more of you.

    In any case, I think, if you can manage it, some one on one time with him, where you give yourself completely over to his agenda, and stay focused on nurturing your relationship with him (through play, and snuggling, etc.) could really help you both.

    Also, with respect to your tolerance, *nooooooo kidding*, right? It can really change our whole parenting game when we are feeling worn down, wound up, and/or just "off". Even though it's perhaps harder to address, I think it's a powerful recognition on your part that your son is just being a kid, and your tolerance (or lack thereof) is in need of being addressed.

    So how do you get more tolerant? What helps you with that?

    Be well, power-mama, and keep breathing!

  4. keep breathing- that's probably the best advice i've heard so far! :) honestly, i am not sure if it started during or before pregnancy. But you could be right, it may just he's way of getting my attention. Im trying to get one on one time with him...wherever i can. I miss him so much... :( sigh!

  5. Aw, yeah. It's easy to forget that it's not just the older sibling(s) who might miss mom, but the other way around, too! You don't get to just be with your sweet boy as much these days. Maybe you could *both* use a little more connection time?

  6. is breathing the best advice you getting these days? relax was probably the best advice i got when i was trying to get pregnant! lol *with sarcasm*

    i think, hun, you need to have your own ME-TIME too.. just to get away from it all. it's hard, i know when you have 2 kids right now. I only have ME-TIME on Sat from 9am to 11am and that's my only ME-TIME so that realy recharges me and gives me the small break i need. I realised that after I really shouted at T when I screamed, GO TO F*K TO BED (totally inspired by the book!).

    And u are not a bad mother. This is your blog and your space to talk whatever you wish. So, do not feel bad cuz I know you love your son very much. You are human after all.

    N is just such a beautiful bright boy who also wants and craves for your attention. And I think I know where he is coming from. My father remarried and has another son from 2nd wife when I was around N's age and I did everything to get his attention and never did. Reflecting back, I know he had his hands full but back then, new marriage, new child, but I couldn't would you expect a 4 year old girl to understand the dynamics of change?however, sometimes, a little bit of me wished he could still shower me with a little more attention when I needed some but I couldn't address my feelings then.

    So, yeah, breathe baby, breathe..and do the best you can.. and oh yeah, try to relax..:)

    peace to ya, SISTA!


  7. Justme: hahahaha! you're so witty! Oh sigh! I hope he wouldn't grow up and look back only to remember mummy yelling at him constantly! You are definately right when you say i need ME TIME. I DO SO BADLY! The girl is driving me quite insane and that's why im less tolerance of N's antics which otherwise can be quite amusing.

    *breathing breathing*


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