Annual Parent teacher meet

I met sonshine's teachers ahead of the actual Parent-teacher meet. The teachers were kind enough to arrange us to meet earlier since i'm there everyday (to pick him up).

 

Both teachers shared that he is a very obedient and extremely well behaved boy. He is attentive and non disruptive in class. The mandarin teacher noted that he's love for learning is very strong and apparent. Like his past teachers, both teachers say he is academically strong.

His mandarin teacher shared that he takes his role/job very seriously. One of the example she gave was during the concert rehearsal, how he was so determined to get his steps right. She said although his dance moves were not perfect but that drive to want to do it right was commendable & will surely take him very far in life. No wonder, a couple of teachers came up to me and told me how impressed they were. I thought they were referring to his dancing! LOL!

I notice this attitude applies to all things relating to school- including his enrichment school. Be it the smallest of task from packing his school bag to his school work- he takes them all seriously. He listens to each and every instruction carefully and makes sure he executes them accurately- with or without my prompting. I am uncertain if this is a good or bad thing. Because i think it's driven by fear, fear of doing the wrong thing and being the odd one out. Yet, so far, i see nothing but good things resulting from this attitude of his. It spurs him to do his best, no less.
 
That said, he is not perfect. Socially, he still keeps to himself. Although he doesn't exchange many words, he does respond- only when needed. He joins in to play with his classmates minus the verbal exchange but comfortable with his friends. He is such a quiet boy that even when he's bullied by his classmates, he would simply keep mum. And he is quite an emotional little boy. He tends to cry, quite dramatically, over smallest of things and will cry like he lost his mother. No.Kidding. The teachers say we gotta toughen this boy up. Right, i am so going to check him in for taekwondo class- hiiaaaaak!

Of the feedback, i am most proud of is his behaviour in class. Over and over again, i hear the teachers say he is very well behaved. I am glad that he is not giving his teachers a handful. I have always been very proud of this aspect of my sonny. He's always been that good little boy, of course he has his moments. Yet again, i am not sure if it's entirely a good thing. He tend to get bullied easily because of his mild & quiet nature.

Overall, it was a good feedback. Nothing surprising though.
 

A day at homeschool@sg

The Day in a Life link up is so inspiring that I can't help but want to join in! It is really interesting to read about how other mummies days are like! How ever similar or different our days are, we all play the same role everyday- juggling!

 

If you've ever wondered how my day is like, well here is a peek into my daily, mundane life.

 

9am

 

 

My eyes struggle to open. Umm, yes you saw it right. I am usually up at 9am, of course by now the husband has gone off to work.

(I hereby apologise to all you moms who have to wake up even before the sun breaks. But, i beg you to consider that i've interrupted sleep for the past year (and counting). No, not a good excuse? Umm, how about that my day peaks at the second i open my eyes? No? Ok! Moving right along!)

 

I wash myself up before heading to sonshine's room (who is usually up before me) and order him to wash up. He does everything himself except brushing his teeth. I don't quite trust him with this task yet. If babydoll's up too, i wash her up as well.  

 

 

 

 

 

Sonshine dresses himself up & gets his fresh milk (which has been prepared by daddy- my hero).  Babydoll starts her day by roaming around and messing the living room. As for me, I  attempt to wake myself up with a cuppa and squeeze in some time on my ipad. When i feel  awake, i walk sluggishly to the kitchen to prepare the kids' breakfast.

 

 

 

 

Mostly it is simple bread and butter. But recently, i am trying to be alittle more hardworking. I try to make breakfast more interesting in bid to make him eat faster and more. Not that he has a liking for Hello Kitty, it just makes my morning prettier.

 

10am

 

 

 While sonshine is having his breakfast and babydoll wandering around the house, i scoot back to the kitchen. This time its to prepare babydoll's lunch. This early, you say? Yes, i prepare it early so that she can have her lunch immediately after we return from school. This is my most dreaded time of the day because i got to chop, wash, scream, chop, boil etc.

 

 

After the boy is done with his milk, we would head over to the activity table. This would be our homeschool time. Babydoll sits on my left, doodling with color pencils, crayons while sonshine sits on my right working on 'mummy's work'.

 

 

When he is done with work and breakfast, he goes to the toy room and play with his lego or toys for a while. This is my chance to steal some time out- but not for long.

 

11am

 

 

Sonshine's cue to dress himself up for school. He also packs his own bag and reminds me to fill his water bottle.

 

1130am

 

 

Off to school! I love being greeted by this row of trees. Somehow it makes my journey more lovely.

 

 

12pm

 



 

Back home! You would think i'd have the luxury to go out shopping and do the 'tai tai' thing but no. I got to rush home to feed the girl before she is due for her first nap of the day. Today, i allow myself to be a lazy mama and give her 'anything goes' lunch. If time permits, i will read to her and do a little activity with her.

 

 

 12pm -1pm

 

 

The girl takes her nap! Phew! It's my peace and quiet time. This is where i take my lunch, space out into the Internet world.

 

215pm

 

 

Here we go again! My day peaks back up. Back to the car and on the road. Babydoll fools around in the car while we wait for big brother.

 

3pm

 

 

Sonshine's back! He has a little snack before play time.

 

 4pm

 

 

Time for his noon milk. All 3 of us adjourn to the kids room where the kids would read books or just goof around the room. Again, i space out or read books to babydoll.

 

 

A common sight  in the kids' room every noonday. By now, i am really exhuasted.

 

430pm-5pm

 

 

Time for sonshine to nap! WoooHOOO! Babydoll's 2nd nap coincides with his nap which means...mummy gets to catch a snooze too! HOOORAAAAH! Or its my second quiet time of the day.

 

5pm - 6pm

 

 

Time for me to prepare dinner. During this time one of the kids would wake up. I will spend some one on one moment with whoever wakes up first.

 

7pm- 8pm

 

Dinner time! Also, my life-time helper returns home! AAAAh, i can feel my tense body starting to relax now. Some days my sweet man would sense that i need a break so he takes me out for a cup of nice teh tarik. Otherwise, Daddy plays with the kids in the toy room while i give myself a break.

 

9pm- 10pm

 

Kids bath time, babydoll first. I read bedtime books before she crash out. By the time i am out, sonshine is done with his bath. I read to him while he drinks his 3rd cup of fresh milk of the day.

 

11pm-12pm

 

I space out. My husband space out. We crash for the day!

 

A good day would go by without me yelling my head off at the kids. A bad day would see me jumping at sonshine for every wrong thing he does and he shrieks & apologises in response. So before you think i have a perfect day or a super mama, well i am not. I still need to learn how to not be an angsty mother and wife. :I

 

This thing called motivation

When i was in primary school, i wasn't just an average-grade student. I was a borderline student. I remember year after year, i would worry about passing & being promoted up to the next level. I was a struggling student.

 

My entire primary school went by in a blur. I attended school because i was told to. I don't know what i was learning and i don't even recall studying for the examinations! Came PSLE, i got, yes you guessed it, borderline grades. It was so borderline that i could pass to the Secondary school but had to be posted into 'Normal' stream (five years course). I recall my mother scolding me, me crying and my sister comforting me.

 

Somehow, i woke up from my deep (academic) slumber in secondary school. Somehow, grades became very important to me. Somehow, i needed to prove to my uncles, family, more importantly-myself, that i am not that 'stupid' and i can be as smart as i want myself to be.  My grades shot up and i was posted to the express stream (four years course) just after 6 months. Since then, it was happily ever after and i made it into University.

 

My own schooling journey taught me about the one thing that is important in getting good grades- self motivation. In primary school, i didn't see the point of studying or getting good grades. My parents didn't push me either. In secondary school & all the way up, my parents were equally hands off. But i somehow got spurred and this little potion called motivation was sprinkled all over me. I had zero tuition. I earn my way up to good grades all through my own hard work.

 

This made me wonder, instead of pushing our children to study hard,  would it not be easier if the child has self motivation to do so? Instead of us nagging them to revise, they do it on their own accord? Of course, the million dollar question is, how to motivate a child? Well, i am no expert. I don't have a clue either. But, maybe just maybe, if we take a hands off approach, like what my parents did? As in, passing the sole responsibility of getting the grades entirely on our children. Let them choose the path they want and bear the consequences themselves. If they do well, it is all credit to them. If they fail, perhaps they will wake up from their slumber and be driven to do better the next time, like i did , albeit that i was late (but hey, i did well, didn't i)?

 

It would sure take an extremely radical parent to do that though. I'll be the first to admit, i am not that parent! :P

 

That said, there are certain tasks (though small) that i give my son sole responsibility  & i take a total hands off approach. And, truth be told, i do see positive effects trickling in. For instance, i don't pack his school bag at all. It his daily responsibility to check his own bag and i don't even do a double check for him. Everyday, he makes sure that all his items are in his bag. I think he is motivated to do because he gets really upset if he doesn't bring the needful items to school. I really don't have to nag at him to pack his bag. Neither are there days where he forgets to pack something. See- the beauty of motivation. On a separate note, i was once informed to pack a shirt for an activity. He came home from school and the shirt was still in the bag and so i asked why. Apparently, he had already packed one himself and handed to the teacher (his teacher must have reminded the class) . I was very pleased and proud of his Independence to say the least (although he packed a rag instead and didn't tell me! LOL).

 

Ok ok, it is a small example as compared to taking a hands off approach on our children's studies. But what I'm saying is, perhaps, it works? I don't know. Would you dare take this approach? It would be really hard wouldn't it?

 

Would you- homeschool?

I would LOVE to homeschool my children. Unfortunately, our decision is to send the kids to formal school. I have a few factors working against me, hence. When i say homeschool, i am not just talking about the preschool years. It includes the entire primary school. So, why not?

 

1) The traditional husband

My man still holds a very old school view on this; children must attend formal school. To successfully homeschool, it takes both parents to agree. Otherwise, it would really tough for the homeschool parent to do it alone- without the support of the other. The husband is probably my primary obstacle. But even, if you remove him from the picture, i may still hesitate.

 

2) Social

The husband, like many parents, feel homeschooling is socially damaging. I know most homeschoolers will be rolling their eyeballs out on this one. I kind of agree and not agree; sitting on the fence on this point.

 

I think the issue about having friends can be easily sorted out by going out on play dates, enrichment classes etc. So i am really not concern about this. But i am concern about the lack of social experience at home. For instance, learning to submit to another authority figure other than the parent, learning how to cope when you are not invited into a social clique at school, learning the various types of personalities out there & how to manage them etc. The home environment is still very much protected. You get to choose who you want to have play dates with. Usually, you will choose those who you get along well with, won't you? And, how many types of characters can you meet at home? The home environment is very much protected. While i think it won't be too late to overcome, but when the kid finally gets 'out there', won't he get a culture shock? And while everyone else have more or less found a coping mechanism, my child is struggling to learn all the social rules.

 

On the other hand, i think our local primary school environment is way too harsh for a young child. All that ranking and race to be the top is just too destructing on the child's esteem and character. If he's at the bottom, he will inevitably believe that he is just no good- what if he brings this belief all the way to adulthood? Don't think the top student would be spared either. Perhaps he may adopt a 'i am better than them' attitude, learn how to discriminate the 'lower' level students. Of course these are very extreme situations, but it can happen & has happen, can't it, hasn't it? If i were to homeschool, this would be one of my major reasons to do it- to protect my children from the ugliness of our school system.

 

3) Myself

I honestly believe this is my most major obstacle- myself. The sole task of educating my children is just too daunting and huge for me to handle. I don't know if i can do it. Our primary school education has changed, and still changing, so much since i left school that i don't know anymore. What if i teach them wrongly? What if my methods are not right? Won't their education be ruin by their own mother- gasp! Homeschooling Primary 1-2, or even up to 3, would be quite a breeze. But i think from there onwards it would be extremely tough, judging by how ridiculously challenging our papers are. It would also take alot of research and hard work on my part. I don't know if i have enough stamina to run it for 6 (at least) years, multiply that by 2 for two kids! If my kids do not do well for their PSLE (Primary School Leaving Examination), i will fault on myself & myself alone. I think i will carry the guilt for the rest of my life. That thought alone is enough to give me nightmares.

 

 

All that said, i do not doubt the goodness of homeschooling. In fact, i strongly believe in it and encourage all you mothers who have all the factors going for you, to go for it! I admire and very much envy your courage & favorable position to do so! I wish i had more courage, i wish had it all favorable for me. But, right now, i am happy to do it alongside with the schools- though i don't really agree with it sometimes. And i guess, there are some plus points doing it this way too!

 

This is how i do it

I have received a few enquires about what textbooks or curriculum i use to teach sonshine. Since it seems to be a popular question, i decided to post my reply here.

 

It was hard to answer this question because i realised i have none! Then it made me feel like i've been very haphazard in my homeschooling. But i realised i have been haphazardly systematic. Yes, oxy-moron.

 

This brings on the next question; how do i know what to teach? How do i plan our lessons?

 

1) On the whim and common sense

 

When sonshine was younger, i taught him based on whatever i wanted him to learn.  For subjects like Mathematics, i generally went with my common sense. Start with counting, recognising quantity, addition etc. For others, i followed his interest. Like, when i noticed that he would always pick up our Atlas book to read, i decided to teach him about world atlas. Most of the time, it is purely coincidental. For instance, once i was trying to get him to eat faster by entertaining him with dollar notes- which happened to be on our dining table. From there, he learnt how to tell the quantity of each dollar note. So, this has been my lesson plan for the past few years- my homeschool curriculum largely came off from my own head.

I would like to add that this is the beauty of preschool years. You can teach anything, ANYTHING, you want to teach. I love to teach during these years because there are no deadlines (like examinations), no limits to what a child can learn & what you want to teach. There is liberty in teaching whatever you want, no primary school curriculum to catch up with, no stress, no pressure (oh i wish it would remain like so in Primary school, sigh). It's fun!

 

2) Assessment books

 

Now that sonshine is heading for Primary school in less than 2 years (sob), i feel a need to have some sort of checklist or structure in our homeschooling. My source of reference mainly come from the assessment books. It gives me a good idea what i should teach sonshine. The content pages on the assessment books somewhat act as my curriculum plan.

 

This brings me to the next question- do i draw up a homeschooling daily/weekly/monthly/yearly plan? No. I yearn to be like those organised and structured mamas, but however hard i try i fail. I realised it is because i don't work against a timeline. Basically, i teach chapter by chapter, level by level. To me, it is very important that sonshine fully understands each level before i move on to the next. I don't believe in jumping to the next chapter just because i need to stick to a plan. I don't like being stress or rushed by something so rigid. I prefer to ensure that whatever he learns has been deeply carved into his brain before i deem it good to close a chapter. For this reason, i don't aim to finish something within a time frame. I never set a goal to teach him addition by 3 years old or aim to finish Primary 1 curriculum before he turns 6. Instead, i follow his pace of learning. We are where we are today because it happens that his learning pace is faster (i say this humbly). That is why it is really hard for me to do any planning because, i never know how long it will take us to finish a chapter.

 

The content pages on my assessment books are like my homeschooling blueprint. That's why i don't really need to plan any lessons. All i have to do is to flip to the content page, see where we left off and move on the next.

 

The other reason why i do it this way is....lazy! But hey, it gets the job done! :P

And since we are at it, here is how i slot in our homeschool time

Morn:
Wake up/Wash up
Breakfast
Homeschool (15-20mins)
A bit of play
Off to school

Noon-evening:
Home from school
Eat, sleep, play & just be a kid

There! This is how i do it!

Trapped!

So go ahead, laugh at me.

I have succumbed to the traps of the rat race.

I signed the boy up for chinese supplementary classes (no, it is not Berries) something i truly regret. (I may even withdraw him after this term! ha!).

I do not know how other parents do it but i suffered from alot of guilt, regret, remorse after i paid the fee! I feel so sorry for the boy like as if i was really, robbing him of his childhood!

Why did i do it then?

1) Sonshine's mandarin teacher at school has no time/chance to truly assess and understand sonshine's learning ability. Each time i see her, she will rant about how big the class is and it is impossible for her to go from student to student and individually teach them. This, i fault her not. And this, is the reason why i dislike the regular education system. The teacher-student ratio is too wide. Kids like my son, who is so quiet, will get neglected & overlooked. This was evident when she incorrectly told me during the teacher-parent meet that sonshine does not understand mandarin.

2) I was looking through his term 1 work and while i can somewhat keep up with the curriculum for now but i know i would not be able to keep up in the long run. I could hold off the extra class now since at this moment, he really has no problem with mandarin. But, i feel that if i send him of later, we would be playing catch up. So, i took on the typical Singaporean sydnrome and decided to take a step ahead.

Which school is it? I am not telling! But i can tell you why i chose this school

1) Low teacher-student ratio. The maximum students they accept in the class is 8. That, i like! It allows the teacher to cater her attention to each students.

2) Their Kindergarden curriculum incorporates oral skills and building sentence structure. Honestly, i didn't do alot of research, i don't know what other centers are teaching. But i compared to another school (its next door neighbour), i felt that the other school was too slow, it focuses more on word recognition. So, i thought this school's curriculum was the 'better' one since it includes activities like question and answer, learning to form proper sentences in mandarin.

The first lesson went well. For one, sonshine happily skipped to school. He was really looking forward to it! Secondly, unlike his school teacher, the center teacher was able to tell me his strengths and weaknesses accurately despite only seeing him for the first time. She was surprised by sonshine's ability to read all of the passage shown in class that day. She was even more surprised that he could read a rhyme that she only read once or twice but didn't require the kids to remember the words (i think its because he already knows all the words). But I was most pleased when she told me his pronunciation was accurate because i thought otherwise LOL! I was also pleased that he was able to understand and answer the two simple questions assigned that day.

After the first lesson, i am thinking of withdrawing him already! But we will have to see, there must be some value add otherwise there is really no need to send him for extra class to learn things he already knows and i am already whining about sacrificing my Saturday mornings!

Keeping it real & Plans for June

I haven't been feeling myself for the past weeks. There were alot of internal struggle, tempers raging and tears. I lost the purpose of all that i have been doing. So it has been weeks of hibernation, tuning out just to cut myself some slack. Unfortunately, it didn't help much since i got guilty for cutting myself mentally from the kids, leaving them to the television, iPad, aimlessly (or not) roaming & exploring on their own.

These days, i keep having uncontrollable anger toward my kids and sometimes the husband. I shan't say what was the result of the anger, it wasn't pleasant to say the least. The littlest of things would spark a typhoon of emotions, mostly anger. I don't like the 'new' me. More guilt. More anger. More impatience.

I think it is the taking care of 2 kids (OK OK some of you have 3 and are doing WAY better than me) all by myself. It is taking a toll on me- without my realisation. Babydoll is gaining her independence and asserting her demands. I can't do something without feeling rushed resulting in improper or incomplete task, which frustrates me to no end. On the other hand, i have the boy, who's fairly happy on his own. But i cannot help but feel guilt for not spending enough time with him, without any interruption from the girl. Instead of cuddling with him, i spend time barking, yelling and showing him my annoyance. To add to the stress, his speech and social skills are worrying me again. Then self condemnation for not putting more effort in helping him. It does not help either that everywhere i turn i see areas that i need to clean/tidy. There are dust, mess at every step. I make mental notes to clear it all, but when i finally have the time, all i want to do is shut out and tune in to the television or internet. Babydoll, isn't helping either, she is going around digging out stuff & adding on to the mess. Then, i feel bad that the husband has to clear out the chores, although he hasn't been complaining. All i want to do is tune out but when i do, i feel bad, i feel lousy for ignoring my children. Needless to say, homeschooling is non-existent at this moment.

I know, it is something most mothers go through. And i am no super woman. We all fall along the way.

Fortunately, my spirits are picking up- thank God for my mother. With her help these 2 days, i am able to tune out without feeling guilty- hence i am here typing post after post. So, i have time and energy to plan out the 'work' for sonshine this June. I will focus our activities on:

1) Spelling

2) Writing Chinese characters

3) Continuation of 四五快读

4) Writing (English)

5) Speech
6) Geography- Map of Europe
7) Exciting project which i took part in (more about this later!)

Well, let's see if i can stick to the plan.

Recently, i have been reading some of the parents' views about our local education system as well as their stand (what's more important to them). It provoked me to re-think about this whole business of pursuing academics success.

First, there is the parents of Dr jiajia. They shared on facebook that although their dyslexic son failed 2 subjects, they took it in their stride. I quote "... (we are) not worried about his future at all. If he is happy, he will end up having higher resistance to handle setbacks. That is most important..."

Coincidentally, Of Kids and Education recently wrote this post with the same message. She shared: "To me, kids who have not tasted failure are in a much more vulnerable position. In an achievement-centric system like Singapore's, kids like Lesley-Anne tend to link their self-esteem with their accomplishments. This comes about because they are constantly praised by teachers and parents for their academic and other achievements, so that they internalise the message as, "I'm valued because of what I've achieved, not who I am.":

Words of wisdom.

Most of us would show our disappointment and even reprimand our children when they fail to achieve the desired academic results. We push them to aim for the As, we send them to top schools, the best enrichment classes in hope that they will score in their examination. We equate being top in the class to a successful future. When our children end up last, we panic, we get angry, we question why. We think the worst for our children, we think their future is doomed.

Many of us have forgotten that failure is a form of success. We missed the opportunity of teaching our children to handle setbacks, to be resilient,  how to pick themselves up and move on. Instead, when they fail (despite much effort sown), we give them hell. In truth, we are telling them that it is NOT ok to fail, that failure is the end of the world, that failing means that they are weak, they are no good. At worst, they grow up truly believing they are good for nothings and self fulling prophesy sets in.

These 2 parents did me a HUGE favor with their insights. It reminds me that there are equally important skills, values to adopt other than academic success. Someone said it is not the product that counts but the journey. I have to disagree. I think the product is important but it is the journey that determines the product. We may have the As during the journey, but if we are not taught the right attitudes, skills, we will still end up a wrong product. Many of us are too blinded by the desired end that we forgot about the importance of the journey.

Time to time we need such reminders to get ourselves back on track. With each failure, therein lies a life lesson to learn that will only make us tougher for the road ahead.

I just had a parents-teacher meet today. I left feeling not too good about the session.

We didn't talk about sonshine's academic progress. It was his social skills that dominated the entire session. He's teacher feedback that he doesn't interact with his classmates and while he does answer her questions but mostly keeps to himself. He also avoids eye contact with her. Still, she acknowledges that he is aware of the going-ons just that he refuses to converse with anyone.

Ironically, he is very noisy at home- talks and talks until we have to get him to stop because mummy & daddy need to talk to each other! He demands for our eye contact when we don't give him our attention.

Although, what's been said were nothing new to me, still, it left my inside crumbling.

Ever since sonshine was a young boy, i just find him different from most kids. For one, as I've shared here, his interest isn't that of a typical child. He is different but normal. Yet, i can't point a finger to in what ways he is different.

Still, i am certain sonshine is normal just that he prefers not to socialise with other beings. Although, i have resigned to the fact that it his personality, i would still try to encourage him to interact with others more.

His Mandarin teacher remarks left me puzzled. She said sonshine didn't know his work, doesn't understand Mandarin and is very slow. Her comments weren't in sync with his past and present teachers who told me that he can understand Mandarin well. I was also baffled since sonshine has been reading mandarin sentences at home and understand simple contexts.

Further into the session, i found out she just joined & hence taught N for a month only. Hence, I felt what she said was very unfair to sonshine. Just because he didn't answer her questions and doesn't raise hands in class she jumps to the conclusion that sonshine doesn't know any mandarin. I thought that was very assumptous of her. But i explained that it is in his character not to respond to someone he's not comfortable with. Moreover, not all kids would readily raise their hands even though they may know the answer.

But what really ticked me off was her reaction when i shared that we don't speak Mandarin with him at home. She immediately said agitatedly, in her native accent 'Why all the SINGAPOREAN parents don't converse with their children at home?!!'., her hands up in the air. I don't know why i got mad but it could have been the way she said it, the tone and her expression. I was offended for me and my fellow Singaporeans. I mean how she said it was really demeaning to us. I wasn't shy about showing it and i think she got it.

She gave me a blur look when i told her i HAVE been teaching sonshine to read & write and he CAN read in Mandarin  and all his past teachers said so too!   I also asked her what is the point in speaking in half mandarin and half English (since my own spoken mandarin is so poor) to him? How and what would he be learning? She quickly suggested that i should then read to him more mandarin books to help him converse in Mandarin. But i told her point blank that i HAVE been reading to him mandarin books- so what's next?!! Her response 'er, read more books?'. Duh. Thanks for the great tip! Like i didn't know that!

So I left the school with 2 thoughts:

1) That's the difference between a Montessori teacher and a 'normal' teacher. The former would be very clear about the child's academic level while the latter may be left clueless simply because she has too many children to mind. I don't know. I mean, if the teacher is misled in my child's academic standing, how can she teach my son properly? I am very tempted to pull him out and send him right back to Montessori school!

2) If i should take the teachers' feedback word for word or a pinch of salt. After all, i am the parent. I should know my son best. But what happens if their report doesn't align with mine?

How i interest my baby to read

This is the number of books babydoll reads in a sitting. I try to read to her 3 times a day and usually she would sit on my lap & look at the books attentively while i read this amount of books aloud to her. And then, after i am done reading with the stack of books, she would fuss for more books or insist i read some books again.

Of course, babydoll, like any other babies, started off with limited attention span. She would either look or crawl away.Same goes for sonshine. But i adhere to some tips and gradually both my kids developed the interest & (*had to scoot off halfway while typing this because the girl was yelling for me to read a book to her!*) longer attention span for books.

1) Choose books with one word or short phrases.

Babies have short attention span, hence it would be too ambitious to expect them to sit through a storybook.

 I usually start reading books with one word on a page.

Gradually choose books with more words, longer phrases as the baby's interest & attention grows longer.

2) When i first introduce reading books, I'll read very fast (that's another reason why i choose very short books) again due to their short attention span. Once she shows more interest, I'll read at a slower pace.

3) I'll start off with just one or two books then gradually increase according to her ability to focus.

4) Start reading at a very very young age, at best 6 months when the baby can sit up. The idea is to introduce this routine and make it the baby's habit to read daily. At this age, they are not so mobile, so you've got a captive audience. They have no choice but listen to you read! Make it a habit such that even when they grow independent, they will still accept reading as part of their daily routine. Also, be very consistent & do it at a regular time in the day so that the baby will grow to expect it (& enjoy).

5) Be a role model. Read in front of your kids. Be it the newspaper, a magazine etc. I like to read and sometimes have a book at hand that i would dive into. Whenever i can, i'd read in front of Sonshine who upon seeing me would then pick a book himself and read quietly next to me. AH, bliss!

Of course, these are not fail proof tips. I think it is also very much dependent on the child's personality and every household have their own personal tips. If you are not successful when the baby is at 6 months, try again at 10 months, if not, try again at 12 months, try & try again. Vary your approach & keep trying. I believe the child will eventually pick up the love of reading.

Chinese readers

It was not until i was sourcing out for good Chinese readers for my nephew that i realised i actually bought quite a number myself. It occured to me that  we own more Chinese books than English! Goes to show how much importance i place on learning mandarin- i think. Nah, it's because it is really difficult to look for a Chinese book that suit our style at the local library that i figured it's better to buy, saves time!

Here is a list of the Chinese readers we have. We don't just have one book in a series, we have the entire set at home!

This was the first Mandarin book i bought for sonshine. I liked the big fonts, minimal words and that it is written in a nursery rhyme format. I read these books to sonshine when he was a toddler.

I think Pelangi Mandarin books get too little exposure, considering that they are really, really good books. I love that the words are simple, fonts are relatively big and there's only one sentence per page. It makes reading (aloud) very easy, the illustrations are attractive too! Plus, the story is usually very short so for those kids who get impatient with Mandarin books, this should fit into their short attention span. Sonshine loved these books when he was a toddler but i am going to pull them out of the shelf again. I think these books are also great to use for teaching the child simple sentence structures.

I think every Singaporean household has a set of Scroll readers! I bought 60 scroll books in a breath! Again, words are huge, story is short. But unlike the Pelangi books, the stories are usually shorter. The purpose of these books is to teach the child new words not so much of giving a great storyline.

I bought a set of this because...you guessed it! The words are simple and fonts are big! LOL. But the great thing about these books is that the sentences get repeated throughout the book. It is so repetitive that it is impossible for the child not know how to read the words! LOL

I love Beany's Mandarin books! I was a tad dissapointed that it comes in only 4-5 (?) books. I wish they published more books! I love that these books are localised. Sonshine loves our transportation system so the above book which shows all our local transport, are right up his alley!

And this is our latest addition! I shunned from this series during sonny's time because i felt it was way too costly. Moreover, sonshine was learning mandarin very well through our flashcards session that i didn't see the need to purchase them.

But i felt the need to get it for babydoll this time round. She prefers to read than to look at the flashcards. She is especially receptive to books that show a word on one page and picture on the other- which is exactly how this book is designed.

Apart from these books, there are also other books that i bought still sitting very nicely on our shelf. I bought a stack of storyline based and small fonts type of Mandarin books. Unfortunately, sonshine is not liking them. He much prefers simple readers like those books above. He's one of 'em kids who has very short patience for Mandarin books!

And not forgetting the other supplementary tools that i bought such as 四五快读 and other learning materials (which i'll share in later posts).

To prepare or not to prepare?

Kei's Bay posted a question on her blog about whether it is necessary to send our preschoolers for preparatory classes and why we can't just rely on the kindergartens to transit them into Primary school. Although, it was a general question, i took it upon myself and asked myself if it was needful for me to prepare Sonshine for Primary school and why couldn't i just let him learn at his preschool's pace? Wow, did i think hard, i even re-evaluated the objectives of my home teaching.

So is it necessary? After much thought and a chat with a mom who has a Primary school going kid, i think it's necessary and unnecessary- classic answer ain't it?

I think necessary because there are certain skill set & knowledge the child must posses before entering Primary school. That friend said it is a must for the child to know how to read- at the very least. She pointed out that everything, except for Mandarin of course, is taught in English. If the kid can't read, it is virtually impossible for him to keep up. I reckon this applies to Mandarin as well. Looking at the current curriculum,  the child must already know how to read in Mandarin. Otherwise, there is no way he can survive even the first lesson. I concluded, it IS necessary to send the preschooler for preparatory classes if he does not have those (& some others like hand-writing etc) basic skills.

I think not necessary because there's really no need for the child to be ahead of the school's syllabus. It doesn't mean that the child would not be able to keep up if he follows the class syllabus. A child with a head start may not necessarily mean he will do very well in school. That said, some say it is necessary (and even a MUST) for students attending 'top' schools to attend tuition classes. Apparently, such schools EXPECT the students to be ahead of the school's curriculum. Boy, am i glad that i am NOT sending my children to any of these schools. I will run to the far end, far far away from these schools.

This brings me to my next question (to myself). Why am i home teaching my son, and teaching him in advance? To answer this, i had to back track to the beginning of my homeschooling with sonny.

I remember my primary objective was to teach him to read, that was all. I never started out with an elaborate plan for him to learn Primary 1 syllabus by the age of 5. It was never my intention. In fact, i thought i would be back to the workforce by the time he's 5! 

I recall when he showed signs that he could read, i was motivated to teach him to read more words. So i kept teaching him words from across subjects, Food, transportation, animals, geography and i inevitably was led to numbers. To my delight, he learnt numbers and counting very well too. I then accidentally found out he could add & subtract simple sums. And then, i thought, hey maybe he could also multiply- & he could! So, i figured, i might as well teach him division- which he learnt quite quickly too! Then i thought, alright, since we have come this far, let's just move on to problem sums. And all of a sudden, i look back and wonder how on earth did we come this far, this fast?

What i am trying to say is, it was never my purpose to teach sonshine so that he gets a head start in Primary school- although that is the result of my home teaching (but I'm not complaining). I was led entirely by his interest and willingness to learn. He learns very well at home neither does he resist my teaching (i like to think he enjoys it too), so i just kept moving forward based on HIS own learning pace not my own, not our local school's, just his own unique schedule. Yes, i do teach so to prepare him for Primary school but that's not my primary (ha! what a PUN!) reason for teaching- it is a by result of my teaching- if that makes any sense. It's like, since i am teaching him, i might as well teach to prepare him for Primary school right?

I teach because i enjoy, because sonshine enjoys. I am quite certain that i would have given up long ago if he had showed resistance or no interest. So for me, it is not so much of whether it is important to give him a headstart for Primary school. It's more of how fast he wants to and can learn. At one point, i did feel that he was learning way too fast and wondered if i should slow down. But i decided that i will be short changing him if i insist to impose on him what i think is the 'right' pace instead of following his lead. I do not want to short change him in this aspect, i want to respect his learning style and pace. So, while i am fine with him learning at the preschool's pace but it might be too slow for him & i much prefer that we match up to his own rhythm.

But to each their own. I think it is a personal question and very much depends on the individual parents goals & values. So what's yours? Do you think its necessary to send YOUR kids for preparatory classes? Why? A food for thought!

Home teaching Quickie

Although it has been really hard to do any home teaching these days especially with a baby to care for, but i still manage to squeeze in a thing or two in the week- albeit not alot. Still, it is quite an accomplishment if i may say so myself. Here's how i do it.

1) Ditch the chores & tolerate the mess.

I don't have a live-in helper so we have to do some chores ourselves, hold the fort until our part time help comes. Till then, i do minimal or no chores. The most i do is to dump our laundry in the machine & the husbster hangs them when he gets home. Oh yes, our house is constantly in a state of a Tsunami- no thanks to babydoll. I am usually too poop to clean by the end of each day, so we've kinda trained ourselves to bear with it..until i can no longer stand it. We are just thankful we are not living in a pigsty.

2) Minimise Preparations.

If i am making my own materials, i usually take the easiest & most hassle free way. Forget about cutting, pasting, coloring, painting etc. Normally, i would use the computer, print, cut & laminate. But before i hit the computer, i usually plan how and what i am going to make. I even plan ahead my design, what clipart to use, what text i will be using. The minute i've the time, i go to the computer and just regurgitate what is already in my head, i waste no time planning or deciding at the computer. Otherwise, i spend money on ready-made materials to save me some time. Or i just rely on assessment books.

3) Plan ahead

I plan ahead on what i want sonshine to learn. For instance, i have planned for him to learn 'Simple present tense' this week. I've bookmarked all the pages i want to use to teach him. So that once i have the time, all i've to do is to pick the books up and flip to the pages. For Mandarin, i've planned what are the new words to teach him this week and i've the word cards ready to be pulled out anytime.

4) Lower expectations

I don't expect us to do a whole lot in a week. If i can manage even 10 minutes of home teaching in a week, i would be over the moon. This way, i don't get too disappointed or upset with ourselves if we don't even do any home learning. In addition, i don't expect us to learn alot in a week. I am already more than happy even if sonshine learns just one new mandarin word in a week!

4) Have learning materials ready on 'standby' mode

I have a pile of assessments lying in my living room- where we spent most of our time. The moment i see that i've got a good 10 minutes with him, i would quickly grab a book, have him sit with me & we'll quickly go through a page or two. To make it even quicker, i only ask that he gives me the answers verbally- writing would take too long. I also have the Basic 500 Chinese books in the living room and once my hands are free, i turn to a page and have the boy read aloud to me.

5) Plan activities that are short, quick yet concise

If i want to make an activity for sonshine, i try to create it such that we can be done with it in 5-10 minutes yet at the same time it is clear enough for him to understand the concept. There are no hype, no balloons, no confetti popping, just straight to the point. I am thankful that it doesn't take much to get sonshine interested in doing an activity. Even with just plain paper he gets entice to do it. I am also grateful that it doesn't take much for him to understand and learn a concept. A quick 5 minutes explanation will do the job. I sure hope babydoll will be like that too...*cross fingers*.

There! I've let you in on my secret- or not. This is just how i scrape by home teaching each day. Gone are the days where i could spend a good 30 minutes with the boy! Our home learning are usually made up of 5 minutes of reading this, 5 minutes of doing that etc and all with interruptions from the babydoll, no doubt! Above all, I am very glad that i made the decision to teach him early when i could afford to give him all my attention. Now, although i can't do much with him but thanks to the early home teaching, he's learnt all the basics in time for Primary school and i can take my time to teach him the remaining. That's call planning ahead, y'all! :P